So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
