That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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