Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
