We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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