Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
