just come out here and I will go home with you...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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