I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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