first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is the high leading the old right now
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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