what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All I want is dick and wine.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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