You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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