Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
