She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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