the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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