she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
