All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
