i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
