# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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