Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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