so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
