i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i would one night stand the shit outta him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize