My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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