She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
