So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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