Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
