he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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