I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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