i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
