You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
