No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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