I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Green mimosas i think yes
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
