Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
