last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize