I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
