I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
