Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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