it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
