I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
