I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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