Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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