so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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