They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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