He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
