C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The best revenge is premature balding
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
