Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
