I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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