Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
