Do you still have your period?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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