I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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