You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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