There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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