Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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