I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
