just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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