like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
