So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think i have two assholes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
