im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel great
I just peed on a car
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
birth control should be required to get into college
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
