Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
