He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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