I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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