My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
