Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
