I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
