By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize