Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
